On Feeling Beautiful, Afraid, and Enough.

The author, KT Tedesco.
  • Who am I if there’s no one to perform for? So much of my life has been shaped by the beautiful and violent experiences I’ve had with other people based on how I perform my gender. I’m certainly not the only one asking this question, and it has been incredibly comforting to know that I’m not alone. (Try here. here. and here.)
  • What does it look like for me to learn to sit with myself, in my own body, and remember that I am enough? That it’s not so much a new learning, but a remembering — a coming home to myself. My dear friend Henaz asks, “What are the deep wounds and fissures in my spirit that I need to tend to? How has racism, anti-blackness, anti-indigeneity, transphobia, gender rigidity, classism, ableism and xenophobia framed my insides?” In their writing classes, Alok asks, “what parts of yourself did you have to destroy in order to survive this world?”
  • I cannot separate my whiteness from my non-binary-ness or my queerness; it is both the root and origin of the harm I’ve experienced and my greatest protector. I need to unlearn it; it is the only way for me (us) to be free of the violence that it causes (to me and by me).

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